Its all about REALationships…!

( This post is gonna be just about my thoughts on myself and nothing more than a introspection…but nothing like too personal…if the reader thought of getting some common news from this post, then sorry…you can opt out of reading this…)

After a long time ….I’m looking into myself in terms of relationships. Long time back….read a SMS quoting that,

“Blessed is a person who is too busy to worry at Day time

                      & too tired to worry at Night time”

really a true one. I was actually like this for the past two years…..day and night full of works…thoughts full of commitments towards job….times full of dreams about the passion. Because of this I was out of every close relationships….and out of all my routines. And I sort of enjoyed it too. I was really fed up with my experiences on the relationships previously….so I felt  more relaxed when I was fully loaded with works and commitments towards work. Really life was so much beautiful with all these new experiences.

Every time when I get some bad experiences from the relationships in some way I took it as  I’m getting used with things and I’m getting more strength to handle the EQ side of me. But recently things were proven wrong. Again I was hit hardly and loosing my control. I hate this part of mine. Where all my experiences gone. Even I got hit even worse in the past…this time this is sort of new thing to handle. Where all my strengths have gone ?? So wats the use in learning lessons from all my experiences. Don’t know answer for all these questions. I hate myself for finding it hard to handle the situation now. I never wanted to be in this situation again. But I’m in tat. There is no one to Blame…seriously I have no one to blame for this situation.  Every one knows wat they want clearly and they move of with no reason or no explanation. I’m very tired of pulling answers and making a point in myself.

I’m not in Love, I’m not in committed relationships and not made anyone to be like tat with me. But things were misinterpreted , things were misjudged. This time its not about loosing…its all about hating myself for not able to handling things.

I don’t know why I get all these experiences all the time….I don’t know wat this life tries to teach me. I’m really tired of taking things positive….I’m tired of fooled myself by saying some self answers for the unanswered questions. I’m tired of going down to the core for asking a reason. I hate this part of myself. The end result is, I again started loosing faith in relationships….started loosing interest in relationships. I know this is not good for rest of my life. One should never loose faith in relationships. I’m really tired of these unwanted lessons for life. When it comes to relationships its useless to learn from one and another…just have to face it…tats it.  RELationships  should actually be seen as “REALationships”. Adding “A” will give more meaning to the word relationship.

I doubt  that I have some serious problem with my EQ side. Because how many times I loose…this time it’s even worse….totally upside down. This is not a big issue that I am not able to solve it….good thing is I have sorted out myself a lil  and things are good now. But wat matters is….how fast we are reacting and getting out of the things. Finally….. I should learn to develop some EGO on both personal and professional side. It helps a lot in this practical world. Just be practical in this practical world. Get used with the latest trends…even if it is in relationships.

Just little hope and the term “ Life is always Beautiful” and its the human who makes it ugly and complicated. So still believe in me for making this life more beautiful than ever. Long way to go…!

At time ..put things straight to bring more curves…!

Tough time ahead of me or I can say it along with me…! Things are not working out  as supposed to…or as I thought. Little bit interesting and different to handle…! But still….its really heavy to carry or handle…! Got to learn from every aspects and everything around me….! But the positive side is…I learnt to handle problem within its boundaries and not beyond tat…! So the advantage is one problem at a time and not the substitutes of the same…!

Putting things straight to make curves perfect...!

I’m 100 percent sure tat above paragraph will not give any meaning to any one…(seriously I’m also struggling get a meaning from it..lolz…jokes apart….)…its all about the professional side of mine…but not on the growth side…the growth curve is really good..and things are positive…! Its all about managing and handling certain things…! Experiencing these things in the beginning stages has a advantage always…! As Always…!

Just moving away from these things and marching forward with lot of  hope, courage , love and passion of what I do. Whatever happens life has to move on and this too shall pass away…! Feeling Happy for myself for handling some tough situations with a big smile and hope. Believe that I can put things straight to bring more curves (smiles)…! And as always waiting for the whole bunch of new days of the new weeks loaded with lot of surprises and twists and turns…!

With all these things Life is So Much beautiful…!

It’s all about Just Living and Better Living.

Its all about the life of the teens in the society (lives under the poverty line, lives in the remote parts of the state)…its all about their so called life in the so called profession. They earn few thousands (average 3K) every month by loosing everything they have. Its all about the people we watch as a sales person in the famous shops of  chennai’s most crowded area T-Nagar, Purasaivakkam etc., Its all about the managing capability of the owners came from south India called as Annachi…!

Angadi Theru – Again a heart touching(hitting) movie from the director Vasanthabalan. A heavy touch emotional flick with some raw truths unfolded. Yet another worst part of the society was cleanly displayed. Perfect castings…reality in camera…decent music…two hearth touching songs…and lots of emotional bombs.  Together its a good movie for those enjoy watching all kind of movies. For all the weak hearted persons and highly emotional persons…I will not suggest this movie. Sure this will create a impact on every one who had been to the famous shops (S.S. , J.T., T.I., etc.,) in T-Nagar, and famous veg south Indian restaurant(SB) in India. In the name of money everyone is cheated here…both the customers and employees. Hats off to the director for a perfect movie.

Apart from the movie…have you ever watched these peoples and their lifestyle. Lot of times I wondered at them..for a very minimal salary..they work around 10 to 12 hours a day…very hard working hours with no rest. With all the pressures and problems….we can see a smile and eager in everyone’s face…I have noticed this lot of time. I have seen lot of so called high profiled software engineers, often fed up about their  life. I’m not here to compare ..but still a thing to be learnt from these hard workers. The only things is few earn for BETTER LIVING  and most earn for just LIVING. This should change vice versa…!

LIFE is a term meant for everyone….and so for these peoples also.Nothing should be taken for granted….hope the things will change one day. I will make sure I will also be a part in this change and I am.

Just set it free…!

Recently read a article about OBSESSIVE Lovers. It was interesting and a must read thing to all,

Many of us at some point or the other have had to deal with the attentions of obsessive lovers or over-possessive, needy friends.Experience tells us that this trait, if not nipped at the bud can become dark and murky.

WHAT LEADS TO OBSESSION?
Love is defined as a strong bond between two people. And when that is threatened (imaginatively or really), the person becomes possessive, obsessive and paranoid to save their bond. This could just as well happen between friends, parent and child, as with lovers.

THE OBSESSIVE LOVER
People with low self image and confidence generally become obsessive in their relationships.

Early childhood experiences also play a big role in determining how one behaves in his relationships later.Over critical parents who constantly keep rejecting their child, scar them for life.

As adults, when they get into their first relationship, they find acceptance, but eventually become possessive,if that bond is threatened in anyway.

A series of failed relationships can also lead to an obsessive personality.They grow out to be insecure individuals who fear being ditched repeatedly.

There are some obsessive lovers who turn out to be sadistic. They can even go to the extent of harming the person. Such people usually suffer from psychopathic or anti-social tendencies.

YOU ARE AN OBSESSIVE LOVER IF…

• You cannot forget the existence of that person in your life
• You alter your schedule constantly to check where they are hanging out
• You constantly need to check your lover’s phone history, email and text messages
• You follow them everywhere and question them time and again about their whereabouts or who they are talking to.
• You start fretting if your lover’s phone is engaged for sometime

STOP THAT

• If you realize that you are unable to control your impulses, seek professional help immediately
• Try to disconnect yourself with the person completely by cutting all links
• Gather support from your family and friends.Ask them to help you stay away from the person you are obsessed with
• Tell yourself that eventually you will get someone better.
• DEAL WITH A STALKER
• Call the police as early as possible
• If the stalker is an ex, who threatens to show the world your personal pictures, letters, cards, do not feel scared. Chances are that they may be just empty threats.

The above is the edited version of an article from TOI news paper.

Just set it free...!

Honestly speaking I was a obsessive lover at one(three) point of time. Those are the bad patches of my life and of-course for the opponent also . There may be several reasons for being a obsessive lover but still its not good for a happy life either side. Its good that I have learnt quickly from the lessons (bad experiences) and not went to a worse level of obsessive.

In the past two years I can see great differences in me for not being obsessive and getting used to handle things. Thanks for all the introspection and to all the so called closed ones I missed.

Just simply …”If u love something …just set it free…!“.

Happy list in 5 minutes

Just wanted to write about the things that makes me happy. There are lot to mention but I set a time of 5 mins and I write in instantly.

Now the time is 11.35 pm and I start writing here,

1. Babies,

2.Chocolates,

3. Ice creams,

4. Moon,

5. Cinderellas (3),

6. Our new home,

7. My sister (g3),

8. Reshma (my little wonder).

9. RX-100 my bike (black cheetah).

10. Rain.

11. Forest and mountains.

12. fun-fighting with the so called close friends.

13. My blog (Casanova).

14. Idly (south Indian dish)

15. sex.

16. Blossom (NGO).

17. A.R.Rahman songs.

18. Rajini & surya movies.

19. water falls.

20. thrill rides in theme park.

I stop here..the time is 11.40 pm.

Some of my happiness in image...!

Its really interesting….The order may vary but there are lot more to be listed (i hope so). My life was/is beautiful with all the above mentioned things and some other left. I can feel the inner happiness when I have the above mentioned things. In one way or other all these things helped me a lot to come out of my so called problems/hurdles.While writing these paragraph lots of things comes into my mind for mentioning in the above list…!

I feel lucky to be happy with lot of things. Thanks for all these things for making my life beautiful and acting as a escaping factor from the crucial moments.

The best place to feel secured

Today morning I noticed a different logo in Google page and clicked to know more, and its Mary Cassatt ‘s – A American painter & print maker birthday today.

This is the first time I’m hearing about her, but I was most impressed by her paintings. Her paintings are awesome and almost all the paintings deals with the private and social lives of women and particularly on the inmate bonds between mothers and children.

According to me , the only best/real place to feel secured and comfort is Mother’s shoulders. And here it is …!

is there any other place in this world to feel secured...!

true place to relax

For more photos of Mary Cassatt check the below link,

Mary Cassatt’s web art gallery

Mary Cassatt – Wiki

The pictures were best displayed with the unique bond with a mother and child and in few pictures the hidden sadness (the missing tone) has been well shown. Every women has a story and thus these pictures shows.

Thanks for the Google for giving me the info on Mary Cassatt. Life is really wonderful with the mother and child relationship.

Life = pack of Surprises…!

Jan 25th 2009 – My sisters engagement , one of the best day in my life. The function date got confirmed only two day before 25th. I told her I will not be available on that day. Suddenly some plans got changed and decided to surprise to my sister. Me and two of my friends decided to attend the function and we planned accordingly and started on 24th afternoon ,reached there at 10.00 pm. Everyone was shocked to see us there and every one was surprised and happy.

Late night discussions on planning the travel,booking the tickets late night,fighting to get seating in the unreserved journey in train,day time travel for 7 hours,watching others shocked and surprised,explaining the story,making sister feel happy etc., all these made the two days very beautiful and very interesting.

shocked & Surprised

Surprising others and getting surprised by others , I feel these two things makes the life beautiful and happy. Life is always beautiful with the surprises comes and goes around in our way.Surprise will not be counted by sizes but counted by the moments. A little wish from a unexpected one will make a great impact when compared to a Diamond Jewelery when it is expected.

I’m sure lots n lots of little things makes very big impact. Surprises has the Key to open up the expressions from the inner heart. Love and affection is more beautiful and meaningful only when it is expressed. I always love to give surprise to others. In one way or other way that created more impact on peoples and more close friends to me. I am more into giving surprises when compared to getting surprises.

Afterall  life is a bundle of unexpected things (surprises). Why wait for one ..just try once …and feel the difference.

p.s.:- for logical thinkers (IQ > EQ) – By giving more surprises our creativity will go boundless and by getting surprises we just learn to express ourselves.

lost in nature …!

It was my first time to Kodaikannal and really a amazing trip for me. I enjoyed the places to the core.I felt like I was in a natures bed for two days.The chill climate and a slight drizzle in the morning and evening and the smoky mist all over the day. Having the third eye(XLR camera) with me , just caught some of the nature’s secret over there.

me on the Top of the world

I usually love to get lost in the nature. And when it comes to heights , I love to climb to the top. We went to a place called Dolphin’s nose , a short paved walkway lead us to the place, which is a flat rock projecting over a breathtaking chasm 6,600 feet (2,000 m) deep. Really a amazing view from the heights. Very adjacent to that we can see the echo point. I have no words to describe that place. A rock will be projected outside the mountain and it was square shaped and very comfortable to sit.  I just sat on the  corner of the rock and Just starred starring at the mountains beauty and its secret in the depth.I was just dissolved with the natures beauty and I had no mood to get back from that place at least for another 30 mins. But friends urged me to move from that place.

flowers plucked during morning walk

The cuddling newly married couples added more beauty to the mountains.Hope almost everyone got tired with the trekking(simple level) , but I was really fresh from the beginning until we finish. The beauty of the pine tree forests are still standing tall in my heart .The lonely roads with dense trees surrounded was the most beautiful thing in this world.The early morning walk in the lonely roads and collecting the flowers with different shades and making it as a bouquet was one of my best moments in my life.

Casanova in lonely roads

Interesting thing was, while I was busy in picking the flowers, a small cute girl was also plucking a kind of violet flower and she started sucking the nectar from the flower. Like this she keep on doing and moving on her way.Then I couldn’t resist me from doing that, I started doing the same and she looked at me and gave a smile…

The usual sites like lake , coakers walk, suicide point and Guna cave does not attracted me the more. Bcos all these places were crowded.I always have a thirst of going for trekking. This trip has just increased my thirst. And now I am looking forward to join the Chennai trekking club and wish to go for trekking frequently.

Trekking path

Thanks for kodaikannal for giving me such a wonderfull experience. Getting lost in the nature is a Bliss.

for the child in us ….!

Happy childrens’s day…! (to the childishness in you). Usually I wish my close friends on this day.I never felt silly to wish them. Bcos I always believe that every one has the childish character inside, mostly we hide it and we display it in a so called matured way. At least at this day we can celebrate. I really don’t know about the purpose of having a children’s day. But i took it in a positive note and I wish myself and my closed ones. And usually I get calls and messages from few of my friends on this day. We made it as a habit.

This morning also I got few messages and calls from my loved ones. It’s good and I always wish to go to my childhood (The flawless life.), so I celebrate this day.

Happy children's day

Lost in the Way to Destiny …!

The following letter is the last words written by one of my close friend. He got introduced to me in the second year of my diploma (1999). A very interesting chap. But he faced lots of problems and he will share everything to me. Few months back he sent me a mail with the following contents and some more. I was just afraid after reading that …but he deserves it and nothing we can help. And now he is sick and counting his days and he just wanted to express some of his thoughts to others.

With his permission , here is the part of the mail he sent to me ….! Wish him all the peace for his rest of the days in his life …!

Am I loosing my way to destiny ? Who am I ? What I am going to be ? AM I in the right path/Direction ?
Am I lost anywhere ? Am I loosing my identity ? Do I have individuality ? Am I a normal person ? Am I acting smart ? Am I a looser ? Am I missed out somewhere? I am in search of ?

F…..g introspection kills me. I feel like I am nowhere in this world. I lost my interest in living. But still I am alive. I don’t want to kill myself…but I don’t want to live. I never felt like this in my lifetime. But why now ? IS that any tragedy happened to me ? I have the answers ? But who is going to ask the questions ? I have thousand things to say Why I am like this …but still I do not have a single reason to say why I should be like this.

Feels like a lonely bitch in this universe. I don’t want to see human beings in front of me. Or I want others do not see me. Hope the second one would be better. My life is full of complications now ! and its me who made it complicated.

I am afraid of sleeping every night. I hate waking up every morning. It pains when I woke up every morning. My mind feels the pain. My brain feels the pain.
Simple the thought comes …that I should not awake the next morning. I have no responsibilities right now. I am not committed to any one. I have no curses..I have only wishes…but still I complicated my life. I wish I should be muted one day. Wish the days should be soon.

I lost my confidence in my career…I am loosing my interest in relationships … I am afraid of emotions. I want to go my way home …without disturbing any one. But without hurting any one I can’t go my way home. Few will be hurt for whatever may be my decisions. I don’t know what to do. I am nowhere to take my own decisions. But I don’t have any one to help me taking decisions. I made like that. I can’t go and tell anyone about my problem. Everything is hidden.
If i reveal my issues , it will ruin some others lives. But nothing is ugly or bad with my issues. But still it won’t be acceptable by others.

I am just counting the times of smiling in a day. Just counting the moments I am really happy. I am just counting the minutes that I was not thinking about my issues. I want to break my head and wish to throw of all my problems and issues and I wish to reborn to live this life fully. I don’t want to be different. wish to be one among the self centric guys in this planet Earth.

I wish to forget everyone and every thing. I want the childhood back…but not child hood I had/lived. I want a normal childhood as a normal children. I am confused. I am loosing my way to destiny.Time can heal anything. But cannot seal. The problems healed by time can be affected by other things easily. I wish to seal my problems and not to heal. I am getting punished for what I did. Will I be alive to live my life after the punishment got over ?

Still..I believe in doing wonders to this earth. I am not a normal person. I am unique. AS of now I wish to have a peacefull sleep and not to awake the next morning. Good night.